Today's agenda...

Its one of those days again....

You are sad thru out the day and u dono why u r sad but u wana remain sad .....

Got up at 7:45 today only to set an alarm for 8:30.... Then woke up again at 8:30 to switch off the alarm... DID NOT wana come to work today at all.... But was rudely woken up (woke up with a swear on my mouth actually) at somebody playing a JOGI song overly loudaly in my street (First of all nangu JOgi gu lovvvvo lovvu... adu bere if its the cause of disruption of my rare found excess sleep, then it has to be some rare breed of samskruta that came outta my mouth) and as Al Pacino says,

"God is a sadist, an absentee landlord, worship him ?? never!!

(He also says some other rather profane things but lets leave it at that)
almost to prove his point, the song stopped right at the moment i was in a state not to go back to bed again... Nanna ee janmada punyada phala...

Then dragged myself thru the necessary daily routines (oh somebody free me from all this once and for all) like showering (no no i put water in a bucket and then pour that on myself... technically not showering altho u woulda gotten teh idea without all this postamble), eating, BREATHING (sigh)

Then come to my office to see a mail saying today i had to finish something abt which i had only jus started (no clever funny stmt holiyings abt it )... Frantically start working on DND and all !! ( The phrase i wana convey here is the one Mr Gunther emits when Joey says "I don't do this a lot with girls" ....... its like a "HA!!", with a yeah right kinda feeling)


...

only to find out that all test machines were busted for my use and hence my TL himself asked me to postpone that task.... I was like thats it, right here give me the sweet release oh maker !

Now on to that another task which suddenly took priority....

No surprise my scribble board at my desk (Yes every software khaidi engineer has one of that where if u are bored u sit with a marker and doodle ur a** off) says

"Today's agenda : KILL MYSELF" !!!!

P.S : Also, no surprise my friend Kudre Mundedu wrote "Let me know 15 secs b4 u do that" !!

sunday ke funday

My bro went and brought three three movies on Friday ! One was Boothayyana Maga Ayyu (Kannada), the other was Courage Under Fire (Denzel Washington baavaaa! )and the third one was a movie called Flavors! I thought i had heard abt this movie somewhere but wasn able to recollect much more about it at first shot....

Somehow I was in the mood of not being able to watch a movie. Just couldnt. In fact, even though the dvd was lying RIGHT in front of me, I chose to go get the seinfeld dvd and watched it for awhile!! Was a different kind of but very good comedy!!

Then the saayankala the aaithu... had planned a walk to sapna book house and all to blow (utilize well!) the 500 x 2 book coupons my college had so graciously given me for getting a "DISTINCTION" (oh well!!)..... En route was also scheduled a trip to a Temple (there u go again God, ive again eluded u!). But as the shaam approached, I realised that I had no book in mind to invest on!! I tried msging some ppl and asked for good book ideas and received some good suggestions like Issac Asimov and some really trashy ones like Mills n Boon (?!?! Loffer Girish )...

Hence I pickings up the dvd in front of me and popped it in expecting nothing out of it... But right from the beginning, this movie is characterised by one word : DIFFERENT ! Its different frm the usual movies u see. I am not sayin its one of its kind, it being an American Desi situation movie, but somethings are handled so delightfully differently, that I felt that this merits a good word on my blog. Not only me but a lot of ppl have appreciated this movie...

Check it out here!

More agony

It is no surprise that I was naturally attracted to stuff like Metallica....

Where do i take this pain of mine?
I run but it stays right by my side
There's things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me

Jus the fact that i aint italicizing it should MEAN something here...

None of u will eventually get it tho.....
one more wasted endeavor.... This whole blog is ,alva?
Screw it

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of the tunnel is just a freight train coming ur way....

I think this line reflects the constantly rotating wheel(with c\freakin constant angular acceleration (huh?!?!) and no loss of momentum.... its like havin freakin periods! HEY! thats what they are called .... PERIODS ) of happiness and sadness....

I dont like it though when the spokes(persons) of sadness part of the wheel go through my colon.... Lil bit

By the way the guitar piece right at the end of No Leaf Clover is bitchin (suicidal) !!!

While me (guitar) gently weeps... (Little Irish/Scottish touch to that song)

London a** whuppin

Obviously by know u now that MAN UTD kicked Chelsea's ass amidst all the euphoria yesterday late night... Mourinho still was being the absolute A**H*** in the post match interviews saying things like "We played brilliantly .... showed them why we are still the champions.......It was just luck that separated the two teams today.... I am not worried about the future (blah! what an insecure idiot! I mean who talks like that?!?! )

Anyways, hope Chelsea falter miserably and there is a good fight for the championship this time atleast (which seems a lil bit unlikely but not impossible)


Yesterday was Nostalgia Day.... I visited my old house and its surrounding areas (well not the old house but jus the area... i can be weirdly insensitive sometimes)
Visited my good pal kattu .... we had a fun time, me inspecting his new laptop n discussin abt his new project idea (Although initially i thought it would be suitable for 6th or 7th sem VTU students, the requirements document he had crafted seemed more like the SRS of a high fi product in the market!!! )

Immediately after that I did something which probably only one blog reader of mine knows here.... It gave me some peace of mind and probably gave me "closure" (Friends viewers , ring a bell???) Thats taht

And visited a coupla other friends, from school who were hopelessly outta touch
and will probably continue to stay outta touch... One guy had grown almost beyond recognition and I think has had s** already (weird intuitive suspicion only)... The other guy is ........ well..... No comments!!! They are alive in touch with themselves let them live happily!

Had to rush back home cos of Man utd match!!! And waht a match it was!!!! Jiyo both teams!!!

the importance of a bass guitar

Anybody who has intently listened to the song The importance of being idle by Oasis will know that the bass guitar totally influences the following lines where just one and only one chord is being played thru out :

I sold my soul for the second time cos the land it dont pay me
I asked my landlord for some more time he said 'boy the bills waiting'
My best friend called me the other night he said 'man are you crazy'
My girfriend told me to get a lif she said 'boy u lazy'

The bass guitar notes lend this whole stanza such a funny and beautiful touch andre..... WAH! Only one same chord in the background (Aminor i am guessing)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do not approve (not that i am not following or am not going to follow) of some Rules in this society. One of them is monogamy. Do only the person u r tied to??? (or is it the person u tie to urself?? Me being a male looks at it that way... After we katt the taali while eyeing the saali ).Although free will is talked about a looooooooot in general, this one topic is sidelined in the practical usage and application of free will. Girls should consent too cos they know they will like it. But they hide from sex behind the cover of "LOVE" and "romance" n stuff.

Whereas all LOVE is (i've said it before and i'll say it now) is "what you pretend to FEEL in order to hump" (I hope the word hump is agreeable and comprehensible to everybody concerned)

See the whole "concept" (is it a concept at all?) of love is so blurry... it is undefined behavior (I know kattu will be happy about my word usage eh kattu?? :-P ) Cos its all to do with "feelings"
oooooooo the constant entity in everybody (the uninitiated shall notice the irony)... It is based on what we feel ... no i wont quote it.... feel its too cliched...

What we feel..... It can fucking change... No not that way... old argument hence cliche again... I would like to focus on the end point of all this love mess.. Sex

Clothes are the biggest bane to humans... That is why people should still roam around naked and u take a break from work by doing someone....

One other proposed (hahahahahaaaaaaaaaahahah funny word usage ilarum... good one) aim of love is companionship... here what i mean is, y do ppl look for love? For companionship... Earlier and most truthful answer is still sex though...

Companionship? But dear sir and madame, thats a long term plan na.... Do whatever (and whoever) pleases u and die off na... short n simple... cos

All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you feel
All that you reason,
All that you sense
All that you scheme
All you dress-up
All that you've seen
All you create
All that you wreck
All that you hate

All this you can (although bono the stupid clown... no no ubersexual... says here "can", i will request permission to change it to "will"... Thanks for the permission) leave behind

The truth of the matt

Your Word

This post deals with an issue I have always thought about and on which one Mrs Rand had/has (dono alive or not) strong opinions too....

What is the value of one's word nowadays?

Bemused? Amused? Unmoved?

Well lemme explain. Right from strangers (eg. politicians ..... papachi elru baythaare avrna).... to ppl with whom u live/interact daily, everybody knows how to make a claim or a statement or a promise but don't know how to live upto it. I know this is a rather too weak an argument made over n over for centuries together by now but what i do not understand is when they make that stmt/claim do they not ANALYZE their own stmt they are making and hence are at fault unintentionally (lets see abt that!) or are just saying some fucking piece of shit jus to get away from you? (oh these ppl deserve a free entry to a firing line)

Look at some examples I have collected (ppl reading this, these are real world examples that i've encountered and i dont care)

"Yeah lets have a trip next time no coffee day meet"

"I'll be there in another ten minutes"

"Yeah sure we'll go to that movie tomorrow"

"I only need to use this for next half an hour"

"It'll take no time to go there.... just around the corner"


............... many more

Now i feel WHAT the fuck is the problem for people to RIGHTfully TRUTHfully say "I need this for (not HALF HOUR) but for the entire day"..... "It'll take approximately 1 hr to go there... its some 10 K from here" etc etc.... Atleast u dont kill a part of urself after LYING like that....

For people who have no malice underneath (why do u think ppl lie? to get their job done right? ), i jus feel they lack estimation ability and should not mess other ppl up with that talent!

Your word is taken seriously and is valued by ppl.... Unless u dont want other ppl to STOP doing that, watch ur tongue !

Madness comes and madness goes

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
Have you reached a verdict?

Yes, we have Your Honour, we find the defendant guilty!
On all counts for crimes against all humanity.

By virtue of the jury's decision and the power
Vested in me by the state I hereby sentence you to be
Incarcerated with no possibility of parole for life

Life?...Whadda ya mean life?...I ain't got a life"


Hmm good point he makes eh? The way it has been said in "Captive Honour - Megadeth" puts the point across even more effectively cos its very taunting!

Easy

"If i could change i would take back the pain i would
Replace every wrong move that i made i would
If i could stand up and take the blame i would
If i could take all the shame to the grave...."

Its hard to fathom how Linkin Park came up with this shit (no no i mean the 'good n amazing' usage of shit)...

My Immortal

Some ppl never die....... Their memories never die....

Or so i was told by a very weird undescribable dream i had yesterday night...

"I tried so hard to tell myself that you were gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along"

The rift is noticeably wider (the question is who is noticing? who all are noticing if the usage of a plural is justified...).. It amazes me that such a drastic change of needs and idelogies happened over ,I agree,a pretty long period of time, but still take nothing away from the drasticity (is that my first word invention?)

I am writing crappily today... Let me continue such styles of writing for this post only.... Jus feel a lil tired of doin same stuff.... I meet new ppl or old ppl, its the same... newly met old known ppl ask abt the past.... when most of the past is avoidable, u DON wana meet old known ppl...

"Sayyoneee chain ek pal nahi aur koi hal nahi" wah wah wah!

First Post after knowledge of MEME

A bus almost killed me today.......

While my guitar gently......

Btw thats the name of a Beatles song!

I (who is taking guitar classes) was goin to office today morning with considerable difficulty i should say and stopped at one of the god forsaken signals in Jaynagar 3rd Block.... There inside a bus were sittin a bunch of school headed Muslim girls and I noticed this only coz i heard a lot of giggling to my right amidst a traffic signal...... I turn my head to the right to find them pointing at my guitar and giggling frantically..... I said a "Jeeeeeeez" to myself and carried on to office.......


Eveningu...

I am on Hosur Road (The urvashi theatre part of it) comin bak home when i notice a Kinetic Jing/Jang/Zing/Ting/Ping (whatever) zoom past me (a discover!!) .... He definitely caught my attention.... Eventually me won the race he he ! ( he had a phone call and stopped someway ) He catches up with me at another traffic signal and says "Hey are u learning or do u play for a band??" I was like "HUH? No still learning" .. he's like "Cool! Coming to Freedom Jam?" I was like "(HUH?) Where?" He said "Palace Grounds 3 Pm, Be there vrooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmm again!!!!!"

I was too shaken up by this ! How the? what the? So i decided to catch up with him.... U shud ave seen this guy ! He(Roshan which i found out later) drives like crazy!! So what i said? I raised the throttle with FUEL by Metallica running in my head thruout one of the most exhilarating drives i've ever had one RV road which had the potential of killing me!!

Finally i catch up with this guy ( Discover = pant pant!) and ask him his name and the Jam details.....

Oh ya here are the details for u guys! Too late it might be by the time u see this but still tonight's experience was worth it!!

2 meet bloggers

Pre Message P.S : The subject of this post read backwards also makes sense!!

Yes that was my intention on Sunday 3 pm after a nice comfortable lunch........

And of course to gulp some hot/cold/weird coffee as a dessert!

Well lets start with the very beginning shall we? Srinivas had already left a reminder on ma phone tht morning and buzzed me 5 mins prior to 3 pm both askin me to and tellin me that he'll, be there at 3 pm sharp!

I was third fastest(as one Mr Over Eager Stupid Colombian was recently!! ) to the CCD at 7th block, which surprisingly unanimously was chosen as the venue for this time's meet also! I met Narendra there who i knew as one of katu's friends from PESIT.... We were just chatting around when Keshav turned up.... For me every new entry was time for some activity as we had to swap pleasantries n more.....

One by one the poor(he!) participants trickled into the rather frosty CCD (i tell u it was cold! atleast it became cold after we ordered the Cool Blue..... ahhhhhh the Cool Blue!! more of tht a lil bit later). Then it was again a general discussion about jobs, girls, Rajendra's absence (who turned up eventually to all our satisfaction ! ) in groups with some ppl just left staring at the tv or outside scanning for some "soothing sights" (7th block CCD is a gr88 place for tht)..... Anyways, i broke the ice and the first QJam strip and played Welcome home(Sanitarium) (as a welcome song, come to think of it now! ) which was not welcomed by some ppl there i guess .... .....

then the whole evening and focus turned towards Srinivas courtesy Narendra and myself.... Srinivas just kept making statements equivalent to digging his own grave and kept wondering why we were at him so much.... It was fun...... We ordered some stuff which everybody was reluctant to eat.... Dono why but i sensed some amount of, u know, restraint n caution being exercised in the atmos there in CCD..... not from ppl like Naren, Srini n myself of course....... but still.......

Eventually, inevitably we come to Srini n Cool Blue.... He once told me that a few of his friends and himself liked the cool blue drink in Coffee Day so much that they created a Yahoo group after it! (which i am pretty sure is lying in the dumps right now activitywise....) I DID NOT know he liked the drink THIS WAY..... Halfway thru the evening our krazy cattu (deliberate reversal of first letters) starts offering a free Cool Blue to ppl who "dare" to drink it.... Given its past appraisal and his current offer which were pretty contradicting, i weighed the pros and cons cautiously looking for any hidden traps in the "challenge" sheeni had put forth and accepted it bravely....

After it had been ordered(a couple of em actually) Naren warned us abt some gross "cant look at it" thing that Sreeni usually does with a Cool Blue.... this kinda prepared us for something but i did not guess the seriousness of the crime yet.... :P

So came the damned Cool Blue, and Our Sreenivas politely says "Hey can i have it for one sec?" I give it to him obligingly and he ....... he .........


Female customers (??!!) of my blog turn away........ (I trust my female customers coz there are none)


He takes a napkin, pours a couple of drops Cool "blue" right in the middle and grins at us triumphantly!!

I must say i dint get it immediately (due to my innate goodness of course!! :D ) but then when sheeni/naren (dont remember) said "Watch ur ads more closely" i got the whole gist of the heinous yet amazingly simple n brilliant trick pulled of by our own kattu..... He continues to amaze me so much on so many levels..........

Oh and the meet ended with me n griz leavin sayin we had to watch formula 1..... and srini forcing everyone of us into a bloggers trip........ (just kiddingsgalu kano sreeni !!)

dil.....

Dil dard ka tukda hai

Patthar ki dari si hai

Ek andha kua hai ya

Ek band gali si hai........

Real time rowdy

Hero approaches his house on an Activa...... sees the usual anishta dog lying in front of his house... and sees something else which is a lil bit unusual..... a steel cup with something in it laid in front of it and the dog approaching it right in front of his house.....

(Oh no che che che!! wait .... before all this hero sees the street villaaadi villan standing between his own house and hero's house.... )

Hero parks vehicle with mind racing..... gets down....... "stands" the vehicle....

Hero : Can u please keep this someplace else? (referring to the dog's meal in the cup.... his actual words were in fact "idanna innellaadru idakke agattha?" )

Rowdy : Yaake? Onderadu nimshadalli yenagatthe?!

Hero : (Surprised, but unruffled) Nammane munde beda... bere elladru idi.....

Rowdy : Aaythu aaythu..... (and picks up the cup)

Hero more surprised at the easy victory, goes inside reporting some stuff to dad, who is already looking at all this thru the curtains..... Hero is about to boast of his victory when dad says "Alle pakkadalle itbitta nodu avnu... eeglu namm mane munde ne ide innu ! "

Hero looks at all this and is a bit fed up with Rowdy honestly.... so he decides to take maaters into his own hands........

(At this point, the mangy dog is gnawing at the bone of its meal sittin on his house' front portico kinda portion)

Hero : Idanna illi idbedi neevu

Rowdy : Nimmane munde enu ittillvalla....... ROADu idu... nimdobbrdena mane illirodu.... saaku olagogri!! nim kelsa nodkoli

Hero : (leeeeeeeeeeeeetl bit of anger) Namm mane mundina portion idu.... nimm mane munde bekadre hakikolli! Illi beda ashte

Rowdy : Idu nimma mane portion enu alla..... Naayi illi itthu karde barlilla... nam mane munde ne hakde adanna...... barlilla naa enu maadli.....

Hero shakes head and is heading back home when he hears some mutters and the word "artha aytha? "

He turns back heroically and says "enu?"

Rowdy says : "Nin kelsa nodkond neenu iru..... en enakko tale haakbeda... nam kayyalli vadegalu tintya!!! sari iralla amele! "

Hero contains dad who has come out at all this quiet commotion (paradox!?) and both of em go inside.....

God's iPod

I had gone to a place today details unnecessary, there was a religious setting to it.......and the context is also similar....... where in the back ground was a constant drone of some familiar shlokas, religious songs and mantras kinda thing goin on.....when i looked for the source of the low volumed series of chants, i found a small box plugged into the electric socket! First impression was "hmmm...cool!?"

Then at a later moment in time, a discussion on that funny lil "godbox" came up and I found out that it was a pretty versatile box indeed! It could "store" about 54 different shlokas....and there were options like repeating a set of shlokas, or even one shloka for that matter, thruout the day!!

Truly, the wonders of God and Electronics have merged in a beautiful union to form God's own lil iPod is what i thought!!!

get together!?

Yes i am a lil bit confused as to waht exactly happened today at lunch coz karan seemed to think that get togethers are pretty formal events and our meeting that happened to day for lunch at the Oriental Spice on Infantry road was supposed (and intended)to be pretty informal.

Yappa........just to mention that i had gone out to lunch with some college friends yeshtu deliberation alla?

Anyways, after Oriental Spice since "apparently" none of us wanted to go home sweet home(padma would want to disagree.....all she wants to do thru out the week is to go home), we landed up in Barista on St Marks Road......Had some stupid Hazelnut Cappuchino there.....stupid it was (and the word is borrowed from Swetha actually) coz i did NOT find any traces of hazelnut that they claim to have added to the coffee.....came bak home and had another cup of coffee and tasted the same.......

Oh totally forgot.......Today's buffet lunch was courtesy Samanvitha Kumar and Swetha Rao, two unbeatable IBM stipend getters! Kudos again to their effort!!! Without which we would not have had this treat.........

Also, Karan bought a new bike today.....well yesterday actually.....Its a Pulsar 150 with Alloy wheels and Nitrous oxide(ya laughing gas all in his bike......funny fellow he is actually !)

Also, It was a pretty cold rainy day.........apart from the warmth generated from the mindless, aimless teasing session (mostly that is all that actually happened....makes me kinda sad.....nobody ganged up on me actually thankfully....the axe fell hard on pragnya actually....we all left peaceful, happy looking forward to the next weekend where hopefully all of us would meet again using some other probably posh venue ending up in coffee day, while all through the week we slog in our regular jobs with our routines, dreaming abt our weekend meet up to eat expensive, probably even harmful food with weird chemicals in it)inside the oriental spice thingy restaurant, I have been rather cold through out the weekend........

oopsie

The topic of my previous blog was supposed to be "Ganesha....nesha.....nesha...sha"

Sorry for the slip up....got caught up in hello

Hello all .......

I am happy today!

This happiness is a carried over joy from yesterday's play Hayavadana by BENAKA at the Bangalore's Colosseum RangaShankara!!!

Written by Gnana Peetha prashasti vijeta Dr.Girish Karnad and directed by the gr8 B.V Karanth, yest evening could not have been spent in a better way i guess. And that too due to the kindness of a stranger who happened to have ONE(yes exactly one!!) extra ticket on a Wednesday Evening at a House Full RS !!! I mean was that just perfect or what?!? Would also like to draw attention to the fact that RS was housefull on a Mid weekday!! Hmmmm namma bangalore starting to appreciate art?!? Good for them !!

Anyways, although the play is too long (2 and a half hours!!! of pure awesome talent disply tho )to be described here, what i would like to emphasize for anybody who is convinced by this post to go n watch it(yeah next weekend replay) is the nature of this play. Its basically a fictional story with such a wicked sense of humour set into the storyline, and the main thing that attracted my attention was that it was an outright traditional nataka! song, dance and pure acting talent and emotional display( everything YES everything done by the actors themselves! no choreography/playback singing here NO SIR!!)

Now lemme get to the piece of news that has maintained my state of happiness....for some this might be a 'ohhhhhhhh ishte na piece of news' but for me ........ ahhhhhhh

The following football jerseys are scheduled to arrive in Bangalore courtesy my brother's awesomely good deed!!! :

here goes....these are four players whose skill n talent i adore n respect : They are probably 4 of THE greatest in the world right now.....in short, put all of em in one team and u have a winner!!!!

P.S : the topic of this blog is a part of a song sung yesterday at RangaShankara in the wonderful play!!

Ryan Giggs - Man Utd.....MAN is he an awesome player!?!!!


Dennis (the Menace) BergKamp - Arsenal....not just menace! threat for other teams!!


Ronaldinho Gaucho - Barcelona ..... the catalan king!!!


Arjen Robben - Chelsea.....The ace up Chelsea's sleeve!!

yesterday

Yesterday i played pool with a baboon(no no its jus a simile.....not areal baboon)

Twas a waste of time.......che all the things i could have done in that time

And money.....I regret it when money is spent that way no matter what amount.

Eh?

Swalpa perplexed is what you are when a website flashes you the message :

LOADING DOWNLOAD..

!!!!!!!!!!!

(S)Team(y) meeting!

Ok ok b4 all the pervs go off their rockers what i meant by steam was a tough lil situation my mentor put me in by mentioning my strengths/skills/interests slide of his presentation( my mentor is the most exp guy in my division and also the div head : which means i am screwed)

He was sayin some cocky thing or the other bout everybody and when i scanned the slide quickly for my name, i found to my exasperation :

Murali : how-to-yawn, F1 racing

I am like ehhhhhhhhhhh??

I was bloddy ****in(felt like using the stars this time....not in a bad mood to say the word out loud) embarassed!!! When had he caught me yawning so many times to make that comment?! When many such things were runnin in mah head, he turns to me n says "No offence murali but i am talkin abt ur diagram"


A huge oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh came out of me !! The other day when griz had come to my cubicle sayin he was eggstremely sleepy he had written a neat lil Functional Diagram abt yawning describing it in three steps.........no rfcs to reproduce the diagram!

And so now i may have ppl comin over for yawn tutorials! nothin has happened yet but I think it functioned as a cute lil icebreaker!!

And another thing that i learnt today amidst all the Techtalk (which made a lil more sense than the last one.......only teeny tiny!! ) is that our team has won a lakh of rupees which might be spent on a team outing!!!!!! Jingaxe is what i felt asa i found tht out!!! Maybe i'll get a jacket too!!!

Things do seem to be picking up here in HPVille!! More to come maybe soon.........

Time and again, she repeats lets be friends
I smile and say yes, another truth bends i must confess

I try to let go but i know
we'll never end til we're dust

My body aches from mistakes
Betrayed by lust

God help me please on my knees
Betrayed by lust

How could this be happening to me
I’m lying when I say, ’trust me’
I can’t believe this is true
Trust hurts
Why does trust equal suffering

----------------------------

I'm diggin my way,
I'm diggin my way to something,
I'm diggin my way to something better,

----------------------------

Trust

Sorry if this is repeated :

Apt.......parts of it

Give up possessiveness

Lost in a dream
Nothing is what it seems
Searching my head
For the words that you said
Tears filled my eyes
As we said our last goodbyes
The sad scene replays
Of you walking away

My body aches from mistakes
Betrayed by lust
We lied to each other so much
That in nothing we trust

Time and again
She repeats let’s be friends
I smile and say yes
Another truth bends,
I must confess

I try to let go, but I know
We’ll never end ’til we’re dust
We lied to each other again
But I wish I could trust

My body aches from mistakes
Betrayed by lust
We lied to each other so much
That in nothing we trust

God help me please, on my knees
Betrayed by lust
We lied to each other so much
Now there’s nothing we trust

How could this be happening to me
I’m lying when I say, ’trust me’
I can’t believe this is true
Trust hurts
Why does trust equal suffering

Absolutely nothing we trust

I must let go......some point of time

No questions or RFCs entertained...
This is just a note to myself as i go thru myself someday

heed the subject closely ally. It is starting to become serious now. What you felt today was not something to be ignored but only beware. Remember the "dual confusion" and how it was almost resolved today.

Actually i can almost feel myself reading this and not having a clue abt what i am talking abt myself. So remember tht u r an "emotional" person and consider THIS as the first step to realising what all this is about.

Welcome

Hello the two of you.........
Ya yu both only pa!

Welcome bak......bangalore must be like heaven aye? with all the "free" stuff that u can NOW get but were deprived of?

Im really really glad you both are back(dono why in this magnitude tho...but well ive always been an emotional person.......an attrib which has prob worked against me most of the time!!)

STILL loving you

Time, it needs time
To win back your love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, only love
Can bring back your love someday.
I will be there, I will be there.

Fight, babe, I'll fight
To win back your love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, only love
Can break down the walls someday.
I will be there, I will be there.

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Your pride has build a wall, so strong
That I can't get through.
Is there really no chance
To start once again?
I'm loving you.

Try, baby try
To trust in my love again.
I will be there, I will be there.

Love, your love
Just shouldn't be thrown away.
I will be there, I will be there.

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Your pride has build a wall, so strong
That I can't get through.
Is there really no chance
To start once again?

If we'd go again
All the way from the start,
I would try to change
The things that killed our love.

Yes I've hurt your pride, and I know
What you've been through.
You should give me a chance
This can't be the end.

I'm still loving you.
I'm still loving you,
I need your love.
I'm still loving you.
Still loving you, baby...

The more i think itll be ok the more they go and fuck with my head!!!!

St. Anger round my neck
St. Anger round my neck
He never gets respect
St. Anger round my neck

(Its rushing out, Its rushing out)
St. Anger round my neck
(It's rushing out, It's rushing out)
He never gets respect
(It's rushing out, It's rushing out)
St. Anger round my neck
(It's rushing out, It's rushing out)
He never gets respect

[Chorus:]
Fuck it all and no regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
I need a voice to let myself
To let myself go free
Fuck it all and fuck regrets
I hit the lights on these dark sets
Medallion noose I hang myself
St. Anger round my neck

I feel my world shake
I can't look away
Hard to see clear
Is it me
Or is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you [2x]

St. Anger round my neck
St. Anger round my neck
He never gets respect
St. Anger round my neck

(Its rushing out, Its rushing out)
St. Anger round my neck
(It's rushing out, It's rushing out)
He never gets respect
(It's rushing out, It's rushing out)
St. Anger round my neck
(It's rushing out, It's rushing out)
He never gets respect

[Chorus]

I feel my world shake
I can't look away
Hard to see clear
Is it me
Or is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you [4x]

I want my anger to be healthy
I want my anger just for me
I need my anger not to control
I want my anger to be me

I need set my anger free
I need to set my anger free
Set it free!

[Chorus]

I feel my world shake
I can't look away
Hard to see clear
Is it me
Or is it fear?

I'm madly in anger with you [4x]

turn the page

This blog was originally supposed to be titled "The mother of all that is good and clean - Parineeta"

Instead a bird crapped on me as i was leaving for office.......

And here i am now wishing i had a smoke, rather than be here.......

My head is about to burst open because i'm playing the above mentioned song at volume 100 approx....next in line is all within my hands

Funny, because it SEEMS not to be......

Sarve Janaha sukhino bhavanthu?!?! Am i not included in sarve janaha?
maybe not is what i am learning today.......

Repeated in and out wiht me was wat happened today......maybe theres a limit to politeness and i will find it out today.......

Parineeta reminds me of yesterdays fun(something which i may never ever have again......what is this?!? a dementor attack?!?!) Parineeta was excellence.....is sorry......its brilliance........its accuracy.....its fabulous.......its REAL WATCHABLE CINEMA......at this point may the makers of bunty aur babli be executed under the guillotine....ah what?! who first? the slut rani will do........

The day started with sleuth...pawan kumar, a young college drop out( that word is an insult to him.....he is an insult to us) who is a one power packed bundle of talent...the whole play consists only of two ppl which makes it even more challenging....he he the snide comments, the plot ,the acting what all should i mention uh? GOOD GOOD EXCELLENT!!

Then we went to PVR only to find all counters screaming on the mikes some movie name and the words 'sold out'! So we had to make do with Urvashi which seems to be becoming another swagath(or maybe plaza?!).....But we soon forgot the third class crowd and the bad seating as VVC(vidhu vinod chopra) easily introduced to 1962 Calcutta.....and then the rest was just pure talent taking over....Vidya Balan can knock off the aishwaryas and ranis with one expression or dialogue of hers...just might be a flawless perf from her!!

And then saif!! hai hai....in2 the hands of a right director n he can make magic which he proved in DCH.....Sanju dazzles in his pretty small role again courtesy VVC......PPl behind movie awesome job guys!!!!!

Bye

too fucking good

A drum beats for me, it's louder every day
The cadence tells me that soon I'll meet my judgment day
Life's an endless showdown never knowing when they'll come
I sleep with one eye open lying with my smoking gun

The game I play has caused a lot of grief
They were dying for fame, so I obliged them some relief

The megadeth the great!!!!!

i met a funny, good spirited auto driver yesterday amidst all the mental chaos......
He did manage to put a smile on my face with his genuine interest to drive an auto and the amount of enjoyment he derived from cursing about driving in the summer heat!! He used to find spots of shade in the road and call that his talent......i do agree with him, it IS a talent

And on the other hand we have Mr . "Illa buddy"......... He takes pride in writing the NDA(non disclosure agreement) for his project report.......today he managed to "hand" my brain(talege kai hakodu) ultimately!!

ha?!

when pain turns into anger, u listen to paint anger!!!!

=))

good one bye me again..............

kill kill kill kill kill

I cannot sleep with a head like this......
I wanna cry, i wanna scream
i rage i glaze i burn i hate
i wanna hate it all away

REmoooooooooooooooooootely feeling that stuff..........i'm a realist

thats where I want to be........the open skies

The desire to shoot harsha is overwhelming!!

Not every day do i get this urge!! I wanna shoot him, or slowly poison him to death. I also thought of electrocution as i was in my bath tub today.(ooooooooooo dark blog!!! fuck you all!!)

Karan will watch clockwork orange in his very simple life.

Paddy will drive home with KRISHNA(of course who ELSE?? grz mayb)

Griz will go home and pretend nothing is happening.

Latha's status is unknown as usual.

Ashwin is absconding from my life( A solitary sms frm him today enquiring abt my project)

Krishna will be smiling all the time.(I havent seen the dark side of him.........starting to believe tho that evrybody need not have that side)
He will go off to IIT.......uh bombay is it?? who cares, some IIT.........

Swetha was very consoling and sweet today......thats all.

I felt something there.......she was tryin to tell me that she is all weird also(like me is what she implied??)

I thought i knew it all
I thought i had it made

How does megadeth come up with such fucking,stunning, lyrics??? I wanna hang harsha at the perfect fit that those guys make.

I feel like vomitting every time i think of saturday.......

Oh i forgot a line.........How could it end this way?

Also, currently at this point of TIME i hate two ppl from the above list.......

Oh and i want to thank Sheetal, Div and gang and sush and gang for somehow delaying the visit to motorola today. Otherwise i would have probably killed harsha today, instead of having just thoughts about it.

I will go now.........One KING awaits me......

And my ties are severed clean

they're back!!!

Yes....
Funny salty sweet little boomerang shaped biscuits are back!! I've asked for it to the vendor here for like a million times!! had forgotten bout it and here they are......!!!!

They make for a good timepass treat!! Oh boy they will b fun today.....takin them home!

Oh btw chlormint roks!

Somewhere there's a reason
Why things go like they do
Somewhere there's a reason
Why somethings just fall through
We don't always see them
For what they really are
But I know there's a reason,
Just can't see it from this far
Maybe I don't like it, But I have no choice
I know that somewhere, someone hears my voice
I thought I knew it all
I thought I had it made
How could it end this way?
I thought I knew
Somewhere there's a reason
Why things don't go my way
Somewhere there's a reason
That I cannot explain
Just like the change of season,
Just may not be my turn
But I know there's a reason,
The lesson's mine to learn

is there anybody in there!?

Two mes.........many mes!
all fightin 4 survival.......

"just the basic facts
can u show me where it hurts?"

i cant.......i just cant pinpoint all the points where it hurts...

"this is not how i am"

lines frm a timeless anthem! a song that always makes u feel "sigh"......could write bout that song in multiple dimensions......

griz is interrupting me time n time again now between the blog,

OK now i've seen tis irritaitin habit of ppl introducing other ppl in blogs.....

" Today puttu came in and told me.......puttu is my closesssssssst gay friend by the wat"
or
" When i was goin to the toilet , i met kumar.......kumar is my colleague who sits on top of me"
(i've got more)

So i'll break teh habit and wont introduce griz.....for all you know he could be a transvestite posing as a judge!!! muhahhhhhhhahahaha!!!(no he's jus my friend)

Only two ppl read my blogs so wont make a diff anyway...
See if ppl used blogs as ONLY stress busters, why do they :
1) intro ppl?? dont THEY know who THEY are talkin about?
2) give their address to other ppls!?!? LEt other ppl only find the blog na while browsing.....

hmmmm.......lemme jus shut up here

hello me its mE again!

"I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It's like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall "

source - papercut, linkin park............

My friend told me that people blog to release tension, stress buster etc its a diary etc

So lemme give it a try huh!?!
Jingaxe! started raining out of nowhere!! bloody damn rain.

Can i say the word 'fuck'? lemme test the word fuck ok.

OK here goes.....

..................

i cant say it without prupose though!!

ya i can.........cmon man fuck it up oh sorry suck it up and do it

...................(ugggggggggggggg cant do it)

ok fuck it!!

Ha Ha......ya i know.......i'm funny.
But funny wont help you when you feel pain, when u wanna feel pain.........
YES!! thats a new category u say? no sireeeeeee.......ppl do tht......they hurt themselves coz they enjoy the pain!! Its like sex!! u hurt ur whatever and still u get the release!!!

(I should prob go easy on the excl marks huh!?)

But funny wont help when ur project sux......funny wont help when u feel like u wana go back to the past and rewrite stuff.........funny wont help when all u wanna do is think straight, from ur head but U(no no the other u right inside but beside u) force urself to think only frm the heart longing for the impossible!

Oh yah damn it......now i wana shift tracks to that stupid heart that we all have......always wanting for the impossible!? "Oh i want that girl(who has said no to ur face)"
"Oh if i only i could go back in time nad do THIS this way......."
"Oh if only i could know what company to join......."
"Oh if only i'd written that test......."

(i know i know the examples are becoming shittier)

Who guides the heart then? ME......
ME is the root of all evil........wow suddenly sounds like i'm talkin about some other person huh?

Stop writing crap u idiot!
Ok.

my second unseen post

My posts are not being seen by people now......
Its official!!
I hate blogs and they hate me.

The blog doesnt want ppl to see my ugliness.....It loves ppl so much.
But then it must love me too since i'm a ppl(i'm a magnanimous ppl!....shit no person!!)

SO there i'm confused about blogs now also.

Huh!?!

Why do people blog?

To spill their guts? To be funny? To answer(or confront) their own unanswered questions?!

Wow! i might use it for something more simple.......like orkut, asking crazy questions as above!!

Huh!?!

Why do people use blogs? To spill their own guts?! To be funny? To talk to somebody but nobody?! To talk to themselves?! To answer (or confront)their own unanswered questions?!?

Well i might use it for some crap......

Jus to be funny.....Coz thats my thing. I might use this as orkut. Askn ppl questions as above.