Friday, December 11, 2009

The TaaLegari Tales - a HowTo

Nadi Shastra, for the uninitiated. (I think i've used this word before in my blog...uninitiated...huh i'm getting repetitive and predictable...well i don't mind)

These are no taal tales. Believe me, for I'm a survivor! :brave look on face, looking far far away

Step 1 : Don't go to the taalegari place
Step 2 : You should have followed step 1. Sigh. Move on then.
Step 3 : Determine sex of self. If male, press right thumb into inkpad. If female, press left thumb into inkpad. (Dono protocol for "neither/both" so don't label me a "sexist"). Press above selected thumb onto paper of piece.

Step 4 : Come out of the place and wonder if they have affiliations with criminal organs of the society, to which they can feed ur thumb print. Just to be safe, commit to self that u won't commit any crimes in future.

Step 5 : Go back in and ask them when u've to come back. Get a phone number too (useless anyways).

Step 7 : Arrive on time and stare at all those chappals/sandals/shoes outside the main door. (If you DO manage to have ur appointment on time, i will give u 1000 Rs a.)

Step 8 : Your taale gari (palm leaf) has been found! (Unfortunately.) Congratulations!!!! (Really?)

Step 9 : Important step...this is very important.
Do NOT go 3 times at odd times of the day and get upset at him for not scheduling u earlier.
Do NOT pay him any money in advance.

Step 10 : Listen to all the hocus pocus he'll tell you about how life's a bitch and how u have a good probability of having an accident, a bad marriage, tough times ahead, awesome promotions, foreign tours, family issues, good kids etc etc, surprisingly all lined up one after the other!


Summary : Life is just like a long island ice tea. All sortsa shit in it. You don't need no commercialized, tamil guy speaking kannada with a fucked up accent (apparently i've to do some 'booje's to solve all my "dosha"s or problems) to tell you that.

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